This parenting gig is not for the faint of heart.
My children are old enough now that they read this blog, not just look at it for the pictures. For this reason I must speak in broad terms and censor some of my more specific frustrations. I wouldn't want anyone feeling betrayed or thrown under the bus. So here we go.
(pregnant pause) I've penned this blog a handful of times in my mind over the past week or so, and now I'm drawing a blank. How do I express my gamut of emotions? How do I explain how I feel like I'm in over my head? Let's keep it simple. Scratch everything and we'll go this route....
Questions I Have Been Asking Myself Of Late (as it pertains to any or all of my chillins):
Who: Who are you? I thought I had you figured out. Where did my sweet boy disappear to and how do I get him back?
What: What is wrong with you? Or what is wrong with me? What is it that is causing you to behave this way? Is there some unknown stress? Are you relearning your boundaries? Have I done something wrong as a parent? WHAT is it?!
When: When did these changes start to occur? Should I have caught them earlier? Did I miss the warning signs? Have I been too indulgent?
Where: Where are you learning these behaviors and attitudes? Are they from friends? From brothers? From me? Are they just part of your personality? Is it a part of growing up?
Why: Why?
How: How do I help you? How do I make sure I don't lose my everliving mind as we struggle through this? How do I make sure you know how much I love you, that no matter how ugly it feels right now, I want you to be happy? How do we make this work?
*sigh* I don't have the answers. I know someone who does and to Him I'll keep praying. Just when you think you've got this parenting thing figured out......
Monday, May 28, 2012
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4 comments:
I am so glad I am not the only one that feels this way. And I KNOW you are an awesome mom so if it's hard for you too it must be hard for everyone. I love you lanita!
Oliver has started reading our blog and got hs feelings hurt when he read I don't like his hair. When did our kids get so old?
Well for what it's worth, I think you are an inspiring and noble mother who I look up to and hope to emulate one day. As you work through, things work out. They just have a way of doing that. Sure do love you. Hang in there!
I have felt those same feelings. I feel as though I am blindly winding my way through this world of boys. I also think the Lord has an incredible sense of humor coming from a family of all girls. But in the end the only thing I do know is that I love them and their Heavenly Father loves them even more so I will turn to him day and night to find my answers.
Oh, Lanita, I just read your blog after I wrote my own post about Motherhood. It is hard, and I guess we've just got to hope and pray that we are up to the challenge! Good luck!
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