O Christmas Tree

Now this is a funny story. It all began on the evening of our big Christmas decorating night. We picked out a tree (yes, we still get a fresh one...from a store lot. Nothing too romantic.). We brought it home and got it all squared away in its stand, or so we thought. We then proceeded to decorate said tree. It took some time, untangling lights, unwrapping fragile ornaments, all the while with 3 boys bouncing off the walls. Good times, you know?

It was finally finished, and we all admired our new, glittering gift station. Sam and I went to the kitchen to work on more decorating, when we heard a shriek. Now poor Abram was the only one left in the living room and was, in fact, sitting right next to our tree. Imagine our surprise when we looked over our shoulders and saw Abram frantically trying to stop our beautifully decorated tree from toppling over on top of him. I'm telling you people, it was just like in the movies.

We hauled it over to the pine, all the while immediately blaming Abram for the disaster. Surely it was his fault. Trees just don't topple over on their own. He insisted that he hadn't even touched it, honest, while ornaments were falling off, some shattering, and the sound of gurgling water cascading out of the stand pounded in our ears.

We got the darn thing up right, and for the next hour or so tried to get it to stay put. Okay, maybe Abram had nothing to do with it afterall. My arms got all shaky from trying to hold the massive tree up, while Sam fumbled around at the base trying to figure out what the deal was. At this point, I have to be honest, I was trying oh so very hard not to laugh and laugh. Some chuckles under my breath had to suffice. Not everybody in said situation was finding the humor in it.

We finally gave up and Sam went out to look for a new stand. It was around 9:30 at night at this point. While he made his 3 stops to different stores, trying to find one that was open, I took down all the mangled mess of lights and ornaments. The boys were near to tears at this point. They had had such high hopes of sleeping by the finished product, to say nothing of all their hard work in decorating going down the drain.

Sam arrived home with a new and improved stand, one that wasn't 13 years old. Did you know they make them different now? The craftmanship is amazing, and top heavy tree or no, they do the job.

We got the tree in it's new stand. At this point, all humor had been sucked out of the room for me. All I could see was a tree that needed to be decorated, again, and a mess of pine needles EVERYWHERE. It truly looked like a pine had exploded in our front room. I pulled out our wimpy vacuum cleaner that had been giving me fits for quite some time, and attempted to clean the mess. All the vacuum did was push the needles around. If it did suck some up, it shredded them to pieces and spit them out like little pine confetti. I was so done at this point. I huffed off to bed, frustrated and exhausted.

The next morning when I awoke, Sam was gone and so was the car. Imagine my surprise, once again, when he walked through the door and plopped down a brand new vacuum. Not just any vacuum, but a Dyson. Merry Christmas to me! It quickly became my second love, and I couldn't bear to put it up, hidden in some dark closet, for at least several days. I would simply walk by it, my heart swelling and tears coming to my eyes. I'm just not sure if men understand how sublime a decent vacuum is and how much it means in a girl's life. In fact, a friend of ours, who made the same smart purchase of a Dyson vacuum, confided in Sam that it was the best decision he ever made. His wife hasn't stopped vacuuming yet! Amen, sister.

Needless to say, our Christmas tree was THE most expensive Christmas tree we have ever purchased. But, was the aggravation of one night worth the outcome? Oh yes, 110%. Oh, and in case you were wondering, our tree did not fall over again, that is until we left for church on Christmas day. We came home to the picture you saw at the beginning of this long, but oh so happy-ending, tale. At least it held out until we were no longer in need of its services as gift station. We chucked it out the next day. There was no way we were going to decorate it for the third time. And to answer your last question, we will continue on with the tradition of a real tree. I was ready to throw in the towel, but after buying such a snazy tree stand, we have to try it out at least one more year, right?

The End